There was a time in my life before I started Fearless Singer when I honestly didn't like my singing voice. I would listen to it back in recordings and cringe.
And believe it or not, I was even feeling this way while I was studying for my postgraduate degree in jazz voice. I would think, 'How the heck did I even get through the auditions?'
These beliefs were all-consuming. I was obsessed with the fact my lower registration wasn't strong, and it didn't matter how much I practiced; I never felt like I was ever 'good.'
I would Google things like 'How to Get a Better Voice,' 'How to Extend my Range' – believing there would be a magic solution. While there are many articles and YouTube clips with exercises that do help, the answers I was seeking didn't come from these sources.
It's only now, in retrospect, that I can see what I needed was something that has taken me many years to develop and something that you could potentially create within minutes if you are feeling lousy about your voice.
So, the title of this article isn't 'clickbait.' You CAN have a better voice right now, and all it takes is a willingness to accept your voice exactly how it is in this moment. Acceptance is powerful and transformative.
Honestly, it is the key to great singing - the elixir. If you cannot even be willing to accept your voice as it is, it doesn't matter how hard you work; you will never be happy with your sound. And this completely defeats the purpose of singing, which is to feel and share immense joy and connection.
I learned to love my voice by seeing it connected to a separate entity - as a mini-me. I would picture mini Mel (actually, my family would call me Lissy) in the practice room with me. Young Lissy didn't care about whether her voice was good or not. She would stand out the front of her house in the main street of Bundaberg and sing 'Somewhere Over the Rainbow' at the top of her lungs. I'm not kidding you; I would look forward to going to my Grandparents' dairy farm so I could sing for the cows. As the wind would sweep through the big gum trees, I would imagine they were applauding me.
How could I tell this magical little girl that her voice sucked? I didn't. Instead, I encouraged her to keep singing and connecting to feeling good. I then began singing more from a place of it feeling like medicine.
And now, when I listen to myself back in recordings, I feel like I'm listening to an old friend. I hear a voice with beautiful flaws just as much as I hear its excellent technique and lusciousness.
So, I DO have a ‘better’ voice because I believe I do. More to the point, it was always a ‘better’ voice, just without any comparison.
Here are some practical steps to ‘accept’ your voice right now:
- Be willing to accept your voice for what it is. Know that it can change with technique and musicality exercises but love it for what it is right at this moment.
- Decide to let go of negative thoughts and feelings about your voice, even if you have to see it as an annoying family member whom you love regardless.
- If negative thoughts and feelings about your voice do come up, especially during practice, acknowledge them but then replace them with something more neutral. For example, ‘I am not cut out for jazz singing if I can’t even sing a low G.’ This thought could be changed to, ‘Not being able to sing specific notes, YET, isn’t an indicator of my ability to sing jazz – a style which permits you to change notes. Anyway, I can just change the key.’ You will find these neutral thoughts evolve into specific praise.
- Catch yourself out if you feel the need to put your voice or singing ability down in front of other people, even if you mask it as humour, even if you are doing it for some kind of validation or reassurance. Imagine it as being like making fun of your best friend to someone else. You just wouldn’t do it. So, don’t.
- If you have persistent negative thoughts that just won’t budge, try Emotional Freedom Technique! I have a video about this on YouTube.
I know this will help you grow to love that beautiful, unique voice of yours! Even if you already have a healthy appreciation of your singing voice, we can always find more reasons to love it.
Please let me know by hitting reply if any of this resonates or you would like anything clarified. Also, if someone you know struggles with feeling good about their singing, please share this with them.
Lots of Love
Mel Xx
P.S. Keep your eyes peeled… I have a couple of courses coming!
- The Fearless Singer Jazz Club: an 8-week interactive course to give you a whole set of jazz standards (6 Songs) & access to a passionate and supportive community.
- A complimentary course to help you release blocks that stop you from singing is also coming your way.
